For many years, I had noted that I hadn’t really lost anyone close to me. I had lost grandparents, but growing up, I never had an exceptional relationship with any of them. Besides, as a kid, it’s sort of a natural process. Anyway, I always found it hard to relate to losing someone because I had never experienced the emotions myself…
Unfortunately, that’s no longer the case. I recently lost my Uncle Fred. I wouldn’t say that Fred & I were “the best of friends”, but Fred did mean a lot to me. You see, my dad’s family has always been the foundation for family values for me. My dad’s father passed away when he was very young. My dad was left to tend to his mother and three sisters at an early age. This created an amazing bond within their family. As the sisters, and my dad, added spouses to the mix, it only seemed to build the family bond.
We lost my grandma while I was in college, and to be honest, I just didn’t realize the impact it had on my family. I’ve always been a bit slow to mature emotionally and haven’t been super strong in understanding others feelings until just recently; and I’ve still got a long way to go…
So, to my point:
When we lost my Uncle Fred last month, it hit me hard…real hard. I guess it was a combination of many things; as most grieving is. The first, and foremost, was the impact his loss would have on our family. The second, selfishly, was that I didn’t get the chance to really understand and love my Uncle Fred as I would have liked. Like most of us, life is just a series of moments that string together as time passes. I spend a good amount of time trying to “live to the fullest”, but there are so many amazing people in my life, I just can’t seem to find the time to express my gratitude and love to each of them.
As a result, I’ve decided to start a “Living Eulogy” series of blogs. The goal of these will be to express my understanding, appreciation and love to those who are important to me. The format will be in a traditional eulogy form, with a third person tone. However, I hope to give it enough personal anecdotes to make it perfect.
Now, some may say this is a personal subject that shouldn’t be shared with the world. Obviously, those some don’t know me. I’ve decided to go public with a good deal of my emotions for the benefit of others. I’m not exactly sure why, but others seem to understand / empathize with the inner workings on my heart and head; and I hope this to continue with that trend.
My overall goal for this exercise is two-fold; 1) To let those in my life know how important they are to me…while I still have the opportunity. 2) To encourage others to evaluate those who are important and tell them; before it’s too late…
As always, I can only hope you enjoy and find value in my ramblings…
