I was in a little brown box we called a ‘tower’ at the Cycle Ranch MX Park in Floresville, TX. We were preparing to officiate an intense Championship battle in the USAC / TORC Off-Road Series. You could feel the stress greater than the stupid dry heat. Then, in an instant, it all changed. It’s a moment I won’t likely forget; “Hey man, they’re saying Wheldon was hurt at Vegas. It’s bad.”

My stomach dropped. My immediate thoughts were with my friends who had an emotional connection with him. Then come the few brief moments we shared and his amazingly bright and sparkling personality. Then, the desire for hope comes; you hope it’s a false report, you hope it’s not as bad as you hear. You hope for a miracle.

Quickly, without conscious thought, I realize I’m in the middle of something bigger than my self. With knots in our throats, we fire up for our race. It came and went; but, in the scheme of things, it was inconsequential. By this point, I knew what was coming. In wasn’t long after that the news came in; we’d lost our Champion.

Ya know, this is something that you just can’t explain to a ‘normal’ person. ‘Normal’ people say “Did you know him?” or they say “He died doing what he loved”. Racers, we don’t see it that way. We say “Sh*t”. We say “F*ck”. We say “D*mn”. We feel a strong pain straight through our typically guarded hearts.

Ya see, for most of us, this is our life. It’s not just something that we “do”, it’s not a “hobby”, it’s not a “career”; it’s who we are. We’re racers. Like cowboys, outlaws or rebels, we’re a unique breed. All of us have different stories, but in the end, we’re all the same: we dedicate our lives to our shared passion.

It’s that shared passion that bonds us into a very tightly knit community. Sure, we spend our lives trying to be better than the guy next to us; but when that guy falls….we stop and pick him up. He’s not a teammate, competitor or friend; he’s a brother.

When we lose one of our own, we lose a brother.

Fast forward a few hours. I’m mourning the loss of my IndyCar brother while surrounded by a community of Off-Road racers. They don’t feel my pain, but they understand it. Then the bottom drops out. A phone call from one of their own to inform them they’ve lost one of their own; two in fact. 2009 TORC Champion Rick Huseman and his brother were involved in a plane crash, ironically, on a flight home from Vegas. Neither survived.

Instantly, the community around me sank to my level. Strike #2 into my heart. Just a few hours before I was wishing they could help me through my thoughts, now, I found myself needing to help them through theirs…

I didn’t know Rick personally, but again, my friends were his friends. Know him or not, he was my brother. He had a family, and his family is my family.

Although surrounded by tragedy, the next few hours will always be some of the most memorable of my life. I was surrounded by a couple of guys that not only shared my pain, they shared my exact thoughts. Remember that “shared passion” thing, yeah, that’s us. We did what any good racer would do, we drank beer. We reminisced. We cried. We laughed. We cried again. It was a fitting end to a sh*tty day.

So, now, it’s Today.

I’m up before the sun and on headed back to “real life”. My tears haven’t subsided and my pain still lingers for my motorsports family; but I’ve got another life and duty calls.

So, here I am. I’m sitting on a plane trying to ‘wrap up’ a sh*tty day so I can start fresh with a new one. Honestly, my first thought was “who cares”? I sell generators that make people money. It’s not life or death, there’s no passion; it’s just business. Just business. My family is hurting and I need to do whatever I can to support them. F business.

But then, my world became right again. I was looking for answers and I found them. I read an article by a close friend to Wheldon. This article wasn’t about Dan Wheldon, Two-time Indy 500 Champion. This article was about Dan Wheldon, husband and father…

At that instant, in the middle of the San Antonio airport, the waterworks started all over. That’s why. That’s why I’m on this plane and that’s why I’m going to work hard for something with no passion.

Ok, if you know me, you’re confused. I don’t have kids & I just ended a relationship with a woman I thought was going to be my wife. That’s ok, it doesn’t mean I don’t have a plan…

Ya see, this is something I’ve struggled with for a long time; “racing” versus “real life”. For the better part of 29 of my 34 years on this earth, I’ve dedicated my life to my passion. I’ve never really had a plan, but as long as I was doing what I loved, I didn’t need one…

Well, at some point, I learned different. I learned that there is more in life than just this passion for motorsports. There’s a whole wide world out there and it’s got a lot to offer!!!

Thankfully, DW was learning this lesson as well. The article that calmed my nerves explained that he was changing. He was turning down rides so that he could spend time with his family. He was finding joy in something besides Victory Lane. While he still ‘wanted’ to race, he didn’t ‘need’ to race…

‘Want’ vs. ‘Need’?!? Wow. Profound. That’s me. That’s why I’m on this plane and not still sitting at that bar reminiscing with my mourning brethren.

So, after a brief journal entry and a verbose blog, it’s time to turn the corner and face the world. Sh*t!, now what?

Wait. That’s easy. What comes after today? Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I’ll live & learn. I’ve been working on balance and I’ll continue to do-so. Hopefully, I’ll remember the lost of my racing brothers and focus more energy on spending time with my families; biological, personal and professional. I’ll tell somebody I love them if I do. I’ll tell somebody if I’m upset so that we can focus on making it better. I’ll continue to push my energy towards those that contribute to my life and draw from those that detract from it…

I’ll continue to build a career so that I may have a solid foundation for my future family. I’ll also stay close to my roots and feed my passion as much as I can.

Somewhere in between, we’ll build the DD Foundation and we’ll change lives. We’ll find a way to heal broken hearts and ease worried minds. We’ll spread the Power of Positivity to the world, one person and one day at a time…

But, regardless; I’ll love. I’ll feel pain. I’ll succeed & I’ll fail; and I’ll be me. I’ll live life the only way I know how and when my checkered flag falls on this crazy ride, I’ll know I did the best I could; just like Wheldon and Huseman. Godspeed, brothers, Godspeed.

#LiveLife

Ya know, I spend a lot of time preaching about staying positive and making your life better. I imagine if you don’t know me, it seems a bit like a silver-spoon-golden-sperm-club-kid telling you that “money isn’t everything”. Well, I’m here to tell ya, I’ve seen the bottom…and I know how it feels. Although I hate to admit it, my life isn’t always Rainbows & Unicorns…

Whether it’s financial, personal or emotional; I’ve been there. Although, I dunno, maybe not? I suppose we should define “Rock Bottom”. What is “Rock Bottom”? I’d say, “Rock Bottom” is when you are absolutely sure things can’t get any worse. Ok, so, I suppose I’ve never been there. I’ve never felt like my “life was over”, but then again, I believe that’s a perception issue. So, for the sake of the arguement, we’ll say I have been there!!!

So, yeah, Rock Bottom. Rock Bottom Brewery: great beer. I love the Brickyard Brown. Oh wait, different Rock Bottom. Focus, Dave, focus…

So, some might say I’m at Rock Bottom right now. I just ended a fifteen month relationship with a woman I expected to marry. The hardest part is that I still love her dearly; but, sometimes love just isn’t enough…

So yeah, Rock Bottom? Maybe. For some, yes; for me, maybe. Here’s the deal: I look at Rock Bottom as an opportunity for a ‘clean slate’. I’ve heard it said that “problems are just opportunities for change”; I suppose I look at Rock Bottom as the same situation…an opportunity for change.

Ok, so Rock Bottom. Rock Bottom comes in many different forms; personal, emotional and financial. We get to Rock Bottom by a myriad of methods; sometimes it’s external, sometimes it’s internal and sometimes it’s completely unknown…you just wake up one day and realize you’re there. BUT, no matter what the circumstances or the reasons, one thing remains the same: it’s a place for opportunity!!!

Ok, now before you give up on me, let me kinda let you into how my head works…

Rock Bottom — September 2011
So, I thought I was getting married. I thought I was in love with a woman ‘forever’. Now, I realize it’s not. Now, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t heartbroken. There’s obviously an emotional side to this that’s not included…but, I overcome my emotions by using logic. So, let’s use logic!!! I’m thirty-four years old and surprisingly single. Ok, now what?!? Well, I always say life is “10% Circumstance & 90% Reaction”…so, here’s my circumstance, how do I react?!?!

Here’s how I’m reacting…
I’m working on me. I’m looking at who I am and how I got here. I’m self-reflecting and working on understanding how I need to change to try to not put myself in this position again. I’m also focusing on the positive. I’m grateful for being 34 and un-engaged, as opposed to 40 with two kids and divorced. The bottom line: it could always be worse…

So, here I am. What next? THAT is really the key. When I get to a major life change, I turn the corner.

No more:
“But, what about this…what about that?”
or
“Oh, man I really miss ____ and I’m never going to have ____ again…”

Instead, try:
“That’s yesterday, let’s talk about tomorrow…”
and
“You can’t move forward if you’re looking backward…”

So, I’m taking my own advice, I’m working on tomorrow. I’m looking at my Life Goals and adjusting to be sure I find them. I’m looking at this as a chance to try new things, do things I had given up on and to explore the world to find things I didn’t know existed. My life isn’t over, it’s just beginning!!!

Now, I’m sure my female friends are accusing me of being cold-hearted and worse. Now, before you pass judgement, give me the benefit of the doubt and keep reading. Let’s take a look at another example. It’s a different situation, but my approach was the same…

Rock Bottom — April 2010
It was the Saturday of the Final Four weekend. Butler was set to play in their first ever Big Dance Apperance. I was taking a nap on my couch when my neighbor comes busting through my front door screaming “get your keys…NOW!!!!” He had a look on his face like the apocalypse was eminent. I’ll never forget the urgency and concern in his voice. Unfortunately, it was for not; by the time I was coherent, it was too late…

The Repo Man was outside hooking up to my truck. I was 45 Days late on my payment. I had been conversing with the bank about a solution, but had been out of town and didn’t see an email warning of the consequences. No excuses, I voided the agreement and they were claiming what was theirs…

So, I jumped off the couch and approached the guy who was here to take my beloved Avalanche. We talked and it was clear there was no way to talk myself out of this situation (which, is rare for a charismatic guy like me!!!). Fortunately, he was a good guy and stood quietly while I emptied several years of my life out from the console and underneath the backseat. I even chased him down the street to get the IMS Parking Sticker from the window…

I’ve got to tell you, I’ll never forget the scene as I watched my truck pull out of my drive on a hook…knowing I’d never see it again.

In the next few hours, I did what I have come to learn as my ‘therapy’; I journaled. I sat down and poured out my emotions into words that nobody but me will every read. As I remember, there was one thing that stood out during the experience: Chris’s concern for my well-being. He was so upset and was trying to protect me like I was his child. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. In spite of the negativity of the day, that was a shining light…

You see, less than a year earlier, I had an epiphany on a deserted island: I wasn’t proud of the person I had become. While I had many successes and accomplishments, when it was all said and done, I wasn’t proud of who I was…

So, on this day, a day that some would say is Rock Bottom, I was actually proud. I was proud that I had built a friendship so strong that a grown man would bust through my door with great concern for my well-being. Sure, I was ashamed and worried about my parents and their disapproval of my life; but in the end, I knew I was growing as a person…

Incidentally, I turned a corner that day and have built a solid financial foundation for myself. For fun, I’ll throw in a line from a current hit song that hits me every time…

“One year they reposses your truck,
And the next you make a couple million bucks…”
– Jason Aldean

It’s been almost eighteen months and I’m better. I’m not at the top, but I’m on my way again. I hit Rock Bottom, I learned from it and and I’ve got a plan to ensure I never see it again…

So yeah, at the end of the day, life usually isn’t “over”…it just changes. I suppose the underlying trait here is “Hope”. No matter how bad life gets, you just have to have “Hope”. It’s easy for me; there was a night a little over thirty years ago that I hit the ultimate Rock Bottom… I was sick with an incurable cancer and it was bad. My white cell count was dropping and they didn’t figure I’d see the light of day… BUT, I did. Since that day, we’ve never looked back. One day at a time, but always up. Now, I’m a crooked faced little guy who can’t seem to conquer this thing called love, and has never been very good with money….but, I’m alive…and that beats the alternative!!!

I dunno, guys, I dunno if there’s something useful in this for you or not. But, I hope so. I hope that I can rub off my “positivity” on you. If you read this and you think you’re at Rock Bottom, call me. Let me see if I can’t help you find a solution for change…

Life isn’t always Rainbows & Unicorns, but it’s not about the destination…it’s about the journey!!!

I’ll finish with a quote from Miley Cyrus:
“But..I…I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head up high
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb…”

Wow, she’s hot…is she legal yet?!? LOL…

That’s all I’ve got; I hope it helps. Just remember:
“The best part about Rock Bottom is that it only goes up from here…”
– Dave Dusick

I actually wrote this a few months ago, but like many things in life, just never felt like it was finished.  Well, I suppose that’s the point of this whole “Living Eulogy” series; to say things that you don’t normally get around to saying.  So, on this Mother’s Day, I decided that saying not-exactly-complete words were better than keeping what had been said to myself.  So yeah, my first Living Eulogy:

Penny Dusick

Selfless. Loving. Dedicated. Amazing.

Penny Lee Davis was born on December 6th, 1952.  While I didn’t know her as a child, I can only imagine she was a fun and free spirited individual from the time she was born.  Her family and friends say she was a riot as a teenager and always full of life.  She married Robert “Bud” Dusick on September XX, 19XX and became Penny Dusick.

Over her nearly sixty years on this earth, there are about a million adjectives that could be used to attempt to describe Mrs. Penny Lee Davis Dusick, but none can solely encompass this simply complicated woman.  If I were to sum it up into one word; that word would be “amazing”.  She is a lot of things, but the sum of those adjectives all lead to a person that is simply amazing.

To help illustrate, I’ll tell a little story:

My first introduction to Penny Dusick was about 8pm on April 29, 1977; the day I was born.  Penny is my mom.  From here on out, I’ll refer to her as such.  I was their first born, she was 24 years old.  To me, it was her actions the days shortly after my birth that truly define my mother as a person.  You see, I credit my mother for saving my life.

About a year after I was born, my mother noticed something.  She, like all concerned mothers went straight to our pediatrician.  While the peds doc agreed, the hospital denied that anything was the matter.  My mom, with Dr. Singh leading the way, would not stand down.  They pushed and pushed until they found a hospital who would look further into this concern.

Within days, I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer and my mom was in the waiting room while her first born was in surgery.  For most twenty-five year old moms, this would be devastating.  I know very few young people who could handle this sort of news.  However my mom, who was also in her early years of Nursing School, rose to the challenge.  Her little boy was sick and it was her job to make sure he got better.

Strength & Dedication:

The next few years were probably harder than anyone can ever imagine.  I look back at pictures from those days and it makes me cry just to see the unique combination of fear, pain & love in everyone’s eyes.  But, one person stood tall through those times…my mom.

Looking back, I believe it was that Nursing education combined with the inner strength and dedication that saved my life.  My mom challenged every doctor, every nurse and every nay-sayer.  She studied, pushed, learned and loved…and never once backed down from her belief that she could save me.

In the end, we beat all the odds and I’m here today to tell you how amazing my mother is.  Some call it fate, some call it a Miracle or Divine Intervention, but I believe it was all of the above…with my mom acting as the Project Manager.  She fought and willed all the cancers into submission.

Obviously, this part of the story ends here…but, the real story was just beginning.

Selfless & Loving:

In the thirty years since those days, I have seen my mother do all sorts of things.  From creating a support group for other mothers and children with facial anomalies to being the best infant death bereavement counselor in the area, my mom’s life has been devoted to helping others.

She’s the first person to be there for a friend in need.  She’s never met a stranger, and every person she meets is her friend.  Her phone rings daily from former patients, random friends and family members looking for medical advice, emotional support or just a friendly voice.

As a mom, she’s the ultimate.  Birthdays and Christmas are her favorite.  She loves to give joy to us kids.  Now, as a grandmother, she’s the world’s greatest.  My niece, Baby Isabella, will be the single most loved human being in the history of the world, and Bubu Penny is the leader of that clan…

Love.

At the end of the day, she’s my Mom and I love her with all my heart.  I don’t always say it, and don’t always act like it, but I love her.

Unfortunately, that’s no longer the case. I recently lost my Uncle Fred. I wouldn’t say that Fred & I were “the best of friends”, but Fred did mean a lot to me. You see, my dad’s family has always been the foundation for family values for me. My dad’s father passed away when he was very young. My dad was left to tend to his mother and three sisters at an early age. This created an amazing bond within their family. As the sisters, and my dad, added spouses to the mix, it only seemed to build the family bond.

We lost my grandma while I was in college, and to be honest, I just didn’t realize the impact it had on my family. I’ve always been a bit slow to mature emotionally and haven’t been super strong in understanding others feelings until just recently; and I’ve still got a long way to go…

So, to my point:
When we lost my Uncle Fred last month, it hit me hard…real hard. I guess it was a combination of many things; as most grieving is. The first, and foremost, was the impact his loss would have on our family. The second, selfishly, was that I didn’t get the chance to really understand and love my Uncle Fred as I would have liked. Like most of us, life is just a series of moments that string together as time passes. I spend a good amount of time trying to “live to the fullest”, but there are so many amazing people in my life, I just can’t seem to find the time to express my gratitude and love to each of them.

As a result, I’ve decided to start a “Living Eulogy” series of blogs. The goal of these will be to express my understanding, appreciation and love to those who are important to me. The format will be in a traditional eulogy form, with a third person tone. However, I hope to give it enough personal anecdotes to make it perfect.

Now, some may say this is a personal subject that shouldn’t be shared with the world. Obviously, those some don’t know me. I’ve decided to go public with a good deal of my emotions for the benefit of others. I’m not exactly sure why, but others seem to understand / empathize with the inner workings on my heart and head; and I hope this to continue with that trend.

My overall goal for this exercise is two-fold; 1) To let those in my life know how important they are to me…while I still have the opportunity. 2) To encourage others to evaluate those who are important and tell them; before it’s too late…

As always, I can only hope you enjoy and find value in my ramblings…

The details of my situation are private to me, but it doesn’t matter.  What matters is how I feel compared to most days.  I feel worthless.  I feel crappy.  To quote my journal entry from just a few minutes ago:

“I just feel like sh*t.  I just want it to be over.  It’s a bad situation.  It’s one that I created and I need to resolve.”

Ok, so as I continued my journal entry, my goal was to think through all the things flying around in my head and get them out on paper.  The first thing I did: write a “Best Case” / “Worst Case”.  I listed the absolute best scenario as well as the absolute worst case.  No matter what happens, it will be between these two extremes.  Now I know my boundaries.  From here, I can determine the severity of this situation that has me so concerned.

Here’s a quick digression.  I look at all concerns / issues / problems by the repercussions of the decisions / outcomes.  Here’s a simple way to solve this equation:

Will I remember this / will it affect my life in:

One Hour

One Day

One Week

One Month

One Year

Five Years

Ten Years

Fifty Years

Forever

This helps me understand touch base with reality.  Am I just having a bad day, or is this really a big deal?  For example, my driver’s license was once suspended.  During that time, I rated the severity of the suspension.  Although it was suspended for 90 days, I was in the midst of a job where I traveled extensively.  How would this affect my work?  I came clean with my partners and we derived a solution.  Now, its two years later and nobody remembers.

At that time, some were shocked by my lack of concern, but if you look at it on the grand scale…it’s really inconsequential.  I think, at the end of the day, that’s the key: perspective.  You have to keep it all in perspective.  If your boyfriend breaks up with you, that sucks…but, it’s not the end of the world.  If your husband of forty years cheats on you and walks out on you and your five kids with a mortgage payment and bills to pay…that’s a bit of a bigger challenge.

However, that brings me to the next segment of my “finding the silver lining” process; remembering what’s important in life.  As I write this, I have a song on repeat: Hello World by Lady Antebellum.  This song is my “remember what’s important” song.

“All the empty disappears.

I remember why I’m here.

Just surrender and believe.

I fall down on my knees…

Hello World…

Hello World…

Hello World.”

Now, by definition, I’m not a religious person.  However, I am a very spiritual person.  I have Faith and a defined belief structure.  I suppose that’s worth another digression…

Faith is a key component to surviving through the trials of life.  While most assign Faith to religion, I assign Faith to belief.  For a long time, I had Faith in my industry.  I believed that if I did right by my fellow racer, that my fellow racers would do right by me.  I have Faith that if I pay my taxes and I abide by the laws set forth by this country that this country will protect me as a citizen.

Bottom line, Faith is internal.  I don’t want this to turn into a religious conversation, so we’ll stop here.  However, having something to believe in is key.  It can be anything; kids, hobbies, loved ones.  Having Faith simply means that you have something to live for….something that matters.

So…back to the problem at hand.  Hello World reminds me of what’s important to me.  With respect to this current situation, I’ve already outlined my worst case scenario.  If this worst case scenario were to play out, this could have ramifications on my life for easily ten years.  Ten Years?!?!  Holy Crap!!!  That’s a long time.  This is a big deal!!!!

Or is it…?

“Hello World.  How you been.  Good to see you, old friend…”

Right now, I’m already better.  Here’s why:

The list of important things in my life goes like this:

1)     Love

2)     Family

3)     Respect

4)     Inner Peace

5)     Meaningful Relationships

Although my current dilemma may affect my life for ten years or more, I sit here today in love with a woman.  I’m more in love than I ever thought possible.  I have a better relationship with my family than I have ever had.  I feel like those around me respect me for who I am and the decisions I make.  More importantly, I have self respect.  I’ve changed the way I think.  I’ve changed the way I react.  I’ve changed the way I treat others.  At the end of the day, this is what matters.

Sure, my current situation could allow others to judge me…but, does that matter? Nope.  What matters?  Oh yeah, those five things above.  Does this current situation affect any of those five things?  Nope.

So, at the end of the day…how big of a deal is this?  Ah, it’s not that big of a deal.  Sure, it may change my life…but, it won’t change me.  I define me.  I define my happiness.  In ten minutes, the love of my life is going to walk through my front door.  At that moment in time, all the world will disappear.  I’d give everything I own for that kiss…

It’s alright.  I’m gonna be ok.

***Oh, you’re still here?!?!***

Sorry about that!?!?!  I guess a blog isn’t any good if it’s not sincere.  Ok, so I made myself feel better.  But, this isn’t about me…it’s about you.  So, maybe your problem isn’t so easy.  Maybe you let someone down that you love?  Maybe you hurt yourself or someone in a manner that seems unforgivable?  Well, I’m sorry, but not all problems are easy to solve…

However, here’s one last bit of advice:  Take Responsibility for Your Actions.

If you recall the statement from my journal, “It’s a bad situation.  It’s one that I created and I need to resolve.”  The first step to solving a problem is defining the problem.  To properly define the problem, you have to be honest.  Honest with yourself.  Honest with others.  Honest.  100% Honest.

Once your honest, you can go about making progress towards positivity.  It’s just like any personal strife, admission is the first step.  Cheating your way to a solution doesn’t help anybody; in fact, it compounds the problem.

My current problem is magnified because I’ve ignored it for years.  Now, it’s bigger.  I was a coward and afraid to deal with it.  Now, I’m ready to deal and I have to face that I created it…and only I can solve it.

The Conclusion

I feel like this is very scattered and not very well put together.  In a lot of ways, it’s not…it’s me, straight from the heart.  However, if you ignore most of my words, just take the root ideas and use them as you can to help find the positive in a situation.  You have to be objective about your thinking and think logically about your situation.  Once you’re being honest with yourself, use the following steps to finding a silver lining:

1)     Define the root problem

2)     Admit your role in the root problem

3)     Define the “Best Case” / “Worst Case” Scenario

4)     Determine the potential long-term affects

5)     Determine what’s important in your life

6)     Cross-Reference what’s important to your current problem

7)     Sit back and evaluate the severity

Now…if it’s still bad, you’ve got to start working on solutions.  This is a whole separate topic for a later date.  But, hopefully, this takes the emotional pain out of most situations…

I’m sorry I can’t solve your problems.  I only hope there’s at least something in this words that will help YOU solve your problems…

Remember, I’m always here for specific advice.  If I can help, I will…just ask.

Good Luck!

In basic physics terms, “An object in motion remains in motion unless acted upon by an external force”. Quite simply, once you’re moving in a direction…you keep moving in that direction until something changes your path.  Have you ever noticed how bad days seem to only get worse?  Some days, it just seems like you can’t do anything right?  Well, I think it’s absolutely the case.

While many blame outside influences when they’re having a rough time, I believe the root of your energy comes from within.  Ultimately, we determine our path in life.  Now, I’m sure the nay-sayers are already screaming… “You just have it easy; you should meet my boss” or “Yeah, right, try telling that to my mother-in-law!!” Well, for the most part, I believe it doesn’t matter.  Now, before you tell me I’m crazy and de-friend me on Facebook, hear me out…

There’s another famous quote that I live by; “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” While it’s religious in nature, I believe it applies to all our problems.  In fact, I even use it in solving engineering problems.  It’s simple: look at the problem at hand, find the root of the problem and then determine your options.  It’s not likely that you can change your boss’s management style…and, there’s absolutely no way in the world you can change your mother-in-law!!!  So…what do we do; throw in the towel be miserable for the rest of your life?  If it’s up to me…absolutely not!

“Accept the things I can not change” is only the first part of the quote.  What about that second line; “courage to change the things I can”?  Ok, here comes the nay-sayer again: “But, Dave, you just said we’ll never change our mother-in-law!!!” Well, Mr. Nay-Sayer, you’re right, you can’t change others.  However, there is something you can change…YOU!

Ah-ha!  You see how I did that?!?  I started with you…and came back to you.  Guess what, it’s all about you!!!  You control your own destiny.  The key is to focus on being positive.  Just like negativity breeds negativity, positivity breeds positivity.  Positive or negative…you decide.

Let’s go back to Newton for a minute.  “An object in motion remains in motion, blah blah…”  Earlier, I used this to describe how bad gets worse.  I think we all agree that this is the case.  So, let’s find a way to stop this energy before it gets into motion.  We’ll use another physics term; Kinetic Energy.

Kinetic Energy is “the energy an object possesses due to its motion.”  In simple terms, it’s the energy from within.  Some call this momentum.  Ok, one more time from the nay-sayers, “But, Dave, that’s the same thing.  Momentum is Newton’s Law.” You’re right again, Mr. Nay-Sayer. (Man, you’re a smart guy!!!)

So, let’s go back to my engineering problem.  If it’s hard to stop something in motion, when is it easy to stop something?  When it’s not in motion!!!  Ta-Da.  My work here is done…see ya later.

Oh, no…wait.  This is the most important part.  If I’m starting to lose you…take break, grab a beer…and come back to me.  This is it, right here.  This…

It’s easy to stop something before it’s moving.  Hmmmm.  How does that apply to my life?  Guess what, it goes back to you!!!  Every morning, we wake up.  It’s a fresh new day.  We open our eyes and a series of events throughout the day will determine whether it’s a good day or bad day.

Uh, oh.  It’s Mr. Nay-Sayer again!!!  “HA!  Dave, you can’t predict what happens in life.  Even religious people believe you can’t control your own destiny!!!” Well, Mr. Nay-Sayer, while I hear what you’re saying…for the first time today, you’re wrong.  I just have to use semantics to prove it.  While you can’t control outside influences into your life, you CAN control how you react to said influences.  This is my final theory; and it’s one that is the key to the energy you have in your daily life.

I believe “Life is 10% circumstance and 90% reaction.”  While we can’t control others, we can control ourselves. (Sound familiar?!?)  Have you ever heard the phrase “kill ‘em with kindness”?  That’s a great place to start…

YOU decide whether it’s positive or negative.  YOU control your own destiny.  Pull in our momentum again for a minute.  Let’s pretend you are a skateboard on the top of a large hill.  On each side of this hill is a road.  One road leads to negative…but, the other leads to positive.  Both roads are identical.  You start the day sitting still, high atop the hill.  Look out over that sunrise, isn’t it beautiful??  Man, wouldn’t it be nice to have a great day??  Hmmm, ok…let’s do it.

Now, it’s up to you.  How do you get to the positive good side of the bottom of this hill??  You choose to roll that way.  It’s that easy.  Happiness is a fish that you can catch!!!  Here’s the key…start the day heading in the right direction.  Remember momentum, it’s a lot easier to push a crooked-faced-little-fat-guy on a skateboard down a hill than it is back up it…

If you are positive, others around you will be positive.  If they’re not, it doesn’t matter…this fat kid is already heading down the hill.  See you later, suckers!!!!

I know you think I’m crazy, but isn’t it worth a shot??  I’ll tell you, it works for me.  Don’t get me wrong, there are days I end up on the wrong side of the hill.  I’ve learned to live with them.  Shut my mouth, ride it out…and wait for another chance tomorrow.  If you still don’t believe me, send me an email.  I’ll share some stories with you that will inspire you.  Every day, I mount my extra-sturdy-fat-kid skateboard, point it in the direction of that positive side of the hill and I take off…and, every day, I’m amazed at the greatness this life gives me.

YOU can do the same.

Recently, I’ve had the honor of being a part of the “I Know Dave Dusick” phenomenon.  Started as a joke by a friend, it quickly evolved into something that is truly life-changing.  While everybody knows I’m different looking, not many knew why…until the IKDD Collaboration was created.  Not understanding the scope of our new venture, we decided to donate all the proceeds to Riley Hospital for Children rather than profiting from this unbelievable craze.  In doing so, a website was created and I told my story in a public forum for the first time.

You know, it’s funny, I guess I always just assumed that there was a ‘word on the street’ that sort-of lingered about and let people know why it was that I look different.  However, come to find out, there wasn’t.  There are literally thousands of people who know me but have no idea what made me different…

So…just like that, my story was out there.  Now, ten months later, there have been over a thousand visitors to the website and we’ve got over one-hundred t-shirts distributed.  Unfortunately the entire reason for creating the project, donating the ‘proceeds’ to Riley Hospital, is not exactly a successful venture.  However, the good news is that so many other great things have come from this project.  I am reminded on a daily basis how incredibly fortunate I am to live this life.  From the emails claiming that I am an inspiration to stories from other Riley Parents who relate and rejoice in knowing that hope is not lost, (and…here come the tears…) there is a great amount of positive energy making its way into my life.

Ok, enough of the mushy stuff…moving on to the point.

So, as I sit here today with an excess of eleven-hundred Facebook friends, a hundred-and-some people joyfully wearing a t-shirt with my name on it and a social life that resembles a B-Roll Hollywood actor…I still ask the same question:

Besides the obvious physical appearance, what makes me so different?

Over the last year, I’ve spent several afternoons and countless hours pondering this exact question.  Based upon the massive amounts of positive feedback from our IKDD efforts, I’ve decided to take these evaluations and make them public.  After all, I thank the IKDD supporters for changing life in a positive direction and I can only hope that a truly collaborative effort can help us find the true meaning to a successful life…

Now, the word “collaborative” insinuates that this is an effort that includes you.  Many of you have already written emails or sparked conversations regarding how my life story has changed yours.  At the risk of sounding arrogant, I’m asking you to continue to do this.  If you feel like my life has had an impact, positive or negative, let me know…

Furthermore, if you have a problem you just feel like you can’t solve…shoot it to me.  I have no idea why, but it seems that many find my ideas to be helpful in tough situations.  Don’t worry; nothing about your life will be made public without your approval and encouragement.  This is a positive effort and we’ll do everything we can to keep the results encouraging…

So yeah, get to work!  Visit www.IKnowDaveDusick.com, https://davedusick.wordpress.com and/or send a submission to crookedview@davedusick.com.  I am anxious to see this evolve and am excited to see where we may land…